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When You Love Someone

When you love someone, you really love them. Love is a very powerful thing. It can blind you and then break you, or it can turn around and do the opposite. Love broke me, it took me to rock bottom. I went too far with someone, lost myself, and forgot who I was. I got my heart shattered, broken into pieces... left to pick up the pieces all by myself. Love is kind of like Russian roulette, it's a game of chance.

I have no contact with the one I once "loved" romantically. I can't imagine being in love (eros love) with someone or even vaguely recalling the feeling. It's only been a few months, but it feels like centuries. Love as a noun is defined as an "intense feeling of deep affection," and "to feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone" as a verb. Love attaches you to another human being and they fill a portion of your heart. It's as if your life depends upon them and revolves around that relationship, if you're not careful. Falling in love has neurological effects similar to those of cocaine, stimulating 12 regions of the brain all at once. Cocaine and love both stimulate a sensation of euphoria- a feeling or state of intense excitement and happiness. When you cuddle with someone, natural painkillers are released. Oxytocin is released when you embrace or cuddle with someone; this chemical has been proven to relieve headaches and pain. If the one whom you love shares the same feelings, it's beautiful. However, if they do not, chance was not in your favor and you lost the game.

I can't even begin to describe the pain of heartbreak; words can't fully account for this complex emotional state. It's one of those things that you can't fathom unless you go through it and grow through it. To be completely honest, I can't even remember exactly was it feels like. It feels like a death and that person who was in your life is no longer living. It's the most painful things I've ever experienced, and someone very special would have to enter my life for me to even consider taking a chance of being heartbroken again. Heartbreak is called heartbreak for a reason; break-ups, betrayal, or the loss of a loved one causes real physical pain in one's heart, known as broken heart syndrome. The brain releases chemicals that weaken the human heart and cause strong chest pains and shortness of breath. Broken heart syndrome has been misdiagnosed as a heart attack. It's a feeling that I wish upon no one. However, you realize how much better off you are without the heartbreaker after you grow through heartbreak. At the time of the breakup, you'll think it's the worst thing to ever happened to you, but shortly realize it's the best thing that ever happened to you.

At first, the breakup and your ex are all you can think about, but I promise you it gets better with time. You might even think your crazy or something is wrong with you, but I promise it's normal. If your experience is anything like mine was, there will be an anger phase. However, you'll just have to let it go and forgive. There is no point in holding a grudge when it will only negatively affect your mood, thoughts, and life. Studies have proven that the thoughts of love or sex can influence creativity and normal thinking. Thus, you focus on the momentary details that occurred in an intimate memory and forget about your long-term goals, dwelling on the details of a missed memory.

Heck, I am so glad I got my heartbroken. In all of my 19 years, I have never learned a bigger lesson nor grown so much as a person. I am changed for the better and love others in a new way. God took me to rock bottom and dynamically changed my heart in this season. I have a greater appreciation for my friends and family, and those who have been there for me when I needed them most. I value each and every human being's emotions and really think about my actions/words before I act upon or speak them. One of my biggest focuses in life is to love others well. I have a new perspective on life and this experience has allowed me to understand what's it's like to have your heart broken, and be there for those who are going through heartbreak. Apparently, the first one is always the worst. I've only got one under my belt, so maybe I can attest to this a few years down the road. All in all, I think love is a wonderful thing at the right time, but it can also be very dangerous.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." - Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

Guard your heart and make sure Jesus stays at the center, otherwise your actions will not flow from him and you won't be glorifying the lord. Remember our life purpose is to have a relationship with the lord and share the beautiful news of the gospel with others. Jesus loved us so much that he sent his only son and died on the cross for our sins. He canceled our debts and called us friends. There's nothing that we could do that would make him love or accept us anymore or any less. It's by his grace that we are saved and through faith that we go to heaven. Understanding the gospel is so freeing and allows you to rest fully in him and abide in his presence. There's nothing more beautiful than an intimate relationship with our creator. I know this last paragraph went off track, but it's something I needed to run home.


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